Tuesday, November 18, 2014


Where There’s A Skill, There’s A Way

Collaborative Problem Solving [CPS]
Many of our kids on the autism spectrum have challenging behaviors. And many times, conventional rewards and punishments just don’t work.
I remember times when I’d simply punish louder or in a bigger quantity, as if that would make a difference. Just like talking loudly to someone who doesn’t speak our language, in hopes that our volume will bridge the language barrier.
Dr. J. Stuart Ablon talks about his work with Think: Kids–where he’s found that challenging kids lack the skill, not the will, to behave well. And they deserve the same compassion and effective treatment as kids with other learning disabilities.


Many of our kids on the autism spectrum have challenging behaviors. And many times, conventional rewards and punishments just don’t work.
I remember times when I’d simply punish louder or in a bigger quantity, as if that would make a difference. Just like talking loudly to someone who doesn’t speak our language, in hopes that our volume will bridge the language barrier.
Dr. J. Stuart Ablon talks about his work with Think: Kids–where he’s found that challenging kids lack the skill, not the will, to behave well. And they deserve the same compassion and effective treatment as kids with other learning disabilities.

Taken from Autism Resource Mom.  Click the link below to watch a very informative video about how to teach flexible thinking and problem solving:
http://autismresourcemom.wordpress.com/2014/11/17/where-theres-a-skill-theres-a-way/



Wednesday, August 27, 2014

6 Ways You Can Help Your Child With Special Needs Overcome a Fear of Water

For many families, a fear of water can be a major obstacle to summer fun. Fortunately, warm weather offers many opportunities to overcome this fear without distress.
A severe fear of water is known as hydrophobia. The fear may be based on a fear of drowning, a fear of becoming messy, a fear of losing control or a fear of being unable to escape. Some individuals are highly sensitive to the texture and sounds of water, and may develop an aversion based on that discomfort.
In all of these cases, it is easy to make the fear or aversion worse by failing to find the root cause or by forcing immersion in water before the person is ready.
It is not so easy to alleviate a fear of water – but it is definitely possible. These are some of the activities that I used at home to mitigate my children’s sensitivity to water and fear of immersion.

1. Water play

A small container of water is less threatening than a large container when exploring the texture, sounds and other natural properties of water.  The only rule for water play is to make it as fun as possible, which means no splashing on the face or dunking. Consider using the following tools:
  • measuring cups
  • ladles or spoons
  • sponges
  • ice cubes
  • a drop of food coloring
  • a bucket
  • a sink full of soapy water

2. Water chores

GardeningDoing wet chores as a family is a way to teach the practical purpose of water without the threat of immersion. When we give our pet guinea pig an outdoor bath during the summer, we often have a crowd of neighborhood children helping us – the pet’s bath becomes a social event, not a chore. Other chores include:
  • watering plants
  • washing the car
  • wiping the bathroom counter
  • mopping the floor
  • doing laundry
  • washing dishes
  • rinsing paint brushes after craft time

3. Allow some control

Loss of control is part of every fear. When a person is able to control one aspect of a water experience, it may mitigate the fear enough so that the person can enjoy the experience.
For example, my older son was fearful of putting his face in water, because the feeling OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAof water in or near his nose made him panic. He could not learn how to swim because of his fear. After several years of unsuccessful swimming lessons, an instructor suggested that we get a pair of goggles that covered his nose and eyes. When my son realized that his nose was protected from water, he began to swim laps instead of flailing in the water.

4. Daily rituals

Water is less threatening when it is a non-negotiable everyday activity. I discovered that requiring a daily 2 minute bath resulted in more cooperation than bathing every other day. If a bath is too uncomfortable, try washing with a wet washcloth, or consider allowing some daily play time with a handheld shower head.

5. Water temperature

I have one child who prefers a hot bath and one who insists on a lukewarm bath. Safe experimentation with different temperatures is an effective way to reduce anxiety about water. Offer containers of water at various temperatures and demonstrate how the bath’s temperature can be changed.

6. Water safetySANYO DIGITAL CAMERA

Phobias are usually based on the possibility of danger, even if it is a remote possibility. When I acknowledged the real dangers of water and helped my son find ways to be safe, his comfort near water increased and his fear decreased. Many individuals with disabilities are both attracted to water and fearful of it, a particularly dangerous combination with an increased risk for drowning. Safety strategies include:
  • providing a life jacket
  • using different types of floats and tubes
  • learning how to tread water
  • practicing the buddy system
  • signing up for individualized swimming lessons
Taken from:
http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2014/08/26/6-ways-you-can-help-your-child-with-special-needs-overcome-a-fear-of-water/?utm_source=Friendship+Circle+Blog&utm_campaign=24282fda03-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_3ec270b4ae-24282fda03-199195685

Friday, August 22, 2014

Those of us who are parents are all too familiar with this scenario:  Upon picking up your child from school or camp you ask excitedly, “What did you do today?”  Your child responds with an unenthusiastic, “I don’t know.”
It may not be that your child does not want to share or did not have a good day, but that he does not know how to share.  The problem is with that open-ended question; it is not specific enough and has too many possible answers.  To get more information and fewer shoulder shrugs, try this proven strategy.

1. Talk to the Teacher in Advance

Speak to the teacher or counselor and get the day’s schedule. Pick one to three activities or people you plan to ask about.

2. Ask the Questions before the Day Starts

At drop-off time, prepare or “pre-teach” your child by telling him the question(s) you will be asking when you pick him up at the end of the day.

3. Know the Answers in Advance

Speak to the teacher or counselor to get the answers to your questions prior to asking your child.  It is difficult to determine the accuracy of your child’s responses if, for example, you do not know the name of the friend or the type of activity you plan to ask about.  Also, the teacher/counselor can act as a facilitator in recalling and retaining information, by reminding your child about another student’s name or about the sequence of events throughout the day.

4. Start the Conversation While Everything is Still “Fresh”

As soon as you have your child in the car, away from the distraction of others and while the information is fresh in his mind, ask him your question(s):
  • “What is your new friend’s name?”
  • “Who was your partner during reading/game today?”
  • “What did you eat at snack time?”
Try asking the same questions every day for the next several days.  Eventually, you can ask different questions or fade away the pre-teaching step at the beginning of the day.  As time goes on, your child will begin to anticipate these questions at pick-up time.
You may find that it becomes easier for your child to share the details of the day, given less reminders and facilitation for recall.  You may also discover that your child begins to offer up information that was not predetermined or rehearsed.  At the very least, it will help to add a little more chatter to your ride-home routine.


Taken from:  http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2014/08/22/4-ways-to-help-your-child-with-special-needs-share-about-the-day/

Thursday, July 31, 2014

 
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Having a child that demonstrates physically aggressive behavior when you are a parent that teaches otherwise is like a blindsided punch, and it hits right where it hurts most: our big 'ol hearts.

As a mama, I've personally lived the reality of this one, and I've had so many parents reaching out for support on this subject that I know I'm not alone here.   Neither are you.

Neurodevelopmentally speaking,  it's typical for young kids to have just a little gray area between calm, cool and collected and and upset, but it's really tough when your child's version of upset is likened to a child warrior.

It was a kick in the head when my young child began demonstrating aggressive behavior despite the fact I take great care to avoid physical aggression in our home and teach otherwise.

I used my occupational therapy experience and my yoga practice wisdom to make as many mindful adjustments  I could to our family environment and our daily schedule.  This lessened the aggressive behavior significantly and brought it to a place where we could all manage it with healthy coping techniques, but the initial impulse toward aggression didn't and still hasn't completely disappeared.  And that's okay.

Some sun salutations and mindfulness practice helped me feel okay with the fact that I can't completely control every environment, how my daughter feels in her body and how she reacts to everything.  That's her work to do for herself and her path to walk.  

Offering her healthy coping strategies and calm support while also being okay about not "fixing" her every struggle is my work and my journey to travel.  Maybe it's yours, too.

If so, I want to share my short-list of mind & body strategy favs with you 'cause I love to share good stuff that helps our kiddos feel good in their own skin.  Also, we could use a little more kindness and supportive community on this journey of raising kids in today's world.  I'll do my best to pull my own weight in this effort.

These suggestions are from my field of expertise, but I'm not an expert for your child.  You are. Honor what works best for you and your own family, and take what I have here and modify it in whatever way feels most well aligned with your parenting philosophies and practical everyday life.

Now, let's tackle aggression with some brain and body techniques!

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Consider that aggression is a type of self-soothing  (albeit, an unhealthy one).

Aggression is generally a self-protective response by kids who are, for any myriad of reasons, feeling uncomfortable in their own minds and/or bodies.

Don't be fooled by a child's tough facade.  A child showing aggression is a child that's struggling inside.

From a sensory processing lens, the body movement and sensory information provided by bitting, hitting, pushing, pulling or scratching  is technically joint compression and joint traction as well as muscle stretching and contraction.

This input to the joints and muscles can essentially help move the feelings out and regulate inner struggle.  

Unless they've been taught to have other healthier physical outlets, kids take easiest and simplest route to feel better in the moment, which may unfortunately be to karate chop the nearest living being.  That's not gonna bode well for them on down the line.

To develop a child's emotional intelligence and coping techniques beyond instant reflexive karate chop reaction, we have to teach them how to shift what they are already doing (hitting, biting, pushing, pulling, scratching, etc) into something that is more acceptable, but still offers the same physical sensation.   

Allow a physical release of some kind that is similar to the physical aggression they tend toward.

Once they have that physical release, they need a few supportive techniques to shift out of an emotional overwhelm and get to a better place for making decisions.

Here's how:

First, offer a physical release:

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Offer a physical alternative to hitting, biting, hair pulling, scratching, etc.  If it's acceptable to you, let your child physically resist you in a way that doesn't hurt you.

Here's the how-to:
He can squeeze you with his whole hand.  Not a twisty-arm-burn or a nails digging into your skin kind of squeeze, but a whole palm squeeze that just gives you a little "deep tissue massage" while he's at it  (Bonus!  Free deep tissue massage!  You're welcome.)

To try it, have  your child place his whole palm around your forearm or around two fingers of your hand.  Heck, even his arms around your thigh or both of his arms around your hips will work. Now allow him to squeeze you with all his might.  That outta do it.   Try it.  It doesn't hurt.

The trick is, you need to practice this strategy ahead of time with your kids when they are feeling happy and in a calm state of mind.  Practice several times in advance and show them how they can squeeze you or physically resist you the next time they get the urge to go all ninja on you in the grocery store.  Then in the moment remind them with a few words, "You may squeeze me like we practiced."  

As an alternative,  see my picture below?  Have your child push her whole body into you as hard as she can.  "Push me!" I offer up my palms as I step in between karate kids. The transformation is instantaneous.

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How offering a physical release works for me: My kiddo transitioned to this strategy within a few tries and has needed to do it less and less the older she gets and the more we practice it.  If she gets very overwhelmed and tries to scratch and pinch me or someone else (her old standby), I will get down BELOW her eye level and tell her in a calm, quiet voice, "You may squeeze me if it helps you feel better.  You may not hurt me.  I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, and I won't let anyone hurt me, either."

That's what works for me and mine, and it's the easiest and least socially awkward to do when we are out in public so it's generally our default strategy.

Sometimes she gets tired of the same old, same old so I mix it up and offer her the chance to try to push me over from my back (I resist, of course) or to try to push into my palms with all her might.

Just so you know, this is how I get my resistance training and keep my muscles from going to mush during parenthood.  Kidding (not kidding).

After a physical release use any of these:

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Find a calm space.  This can be an already established space in your home environment that has little visual, auditory or tactile information (like a tent or corner under the stairs), it can be going with your child outdoors for some fresh air or it can be just moving the child away from sight, sound and touch of whatever or whomever set your child's engine to overheat.

 If you are in a store, a car or out in the community, moving outside or away from a crowd can be your calm space.

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Cool them off. Figuratively speaking, anger and aggression are often correlated with heat and fiery metaphors.  So what simmers heat down and puts out a fire?  Cold  and water!

You can use cool temperature and/or water as a sensory strategy to shift the mind's focus. 

Have you ever splashed cold water on your face when waking up?  For many, doing so helps the brain transition from a sleepy state to a more awake state.  As long as your child doesn't have an aversion to it, cool temperatures can help a child's brain transition from aggression to a calmer state, too.

You can use this strategy preventatively or after the physical release.   You might want to offer your child a glass of cold water to drink, a cold pack from the freezer or a cold teething ring for biting if they are younger.  I really love to offer a cup of ice chips for crunching, which offers both calming joint compression of the jaw and the distraction of the cold at the same time, or a popsicle (we use homemade frozen smoothie popsicles) that both provides a soothing cool temp and something to lick or bite.  A two-for-one!

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Stop and smell the essential oils.  I  began to use the olfactory sense (the sense of smell) in my yoga classes to help kids maintain focus and attention because research indicates  beneficial and  almost immediate effects of specific essential oils on mood, attention and stress.

Preliminary studies demonstrate that lemon essential oil can help improve mood, reduce stress (by playing a role in lowing stress hormones in the body) and also help shift the brain from a groggy state to a more awake state.  

As I started to use a few drops of essential oils on cotton balls and presented them to the kids to smell for 2-3 deep breaths, I began to see increased ability to focus and attend during meditation, and the kids would often smile and say "Mmmmmm!" and be more engaged in what I was asking them to do.  Smelling is fun, after all!

The benefits of offering yummy smells is actually twofold: both for the mental shift smells can elicit, but also because intentionally smelling something facilitates a deep breathing pattern, and deep breathing can help kids come out of fight or flight faster.  

How to: Take an essential oil your child confirms he or she loves.  The scent can be any pure essential oil (which you can buy at some holistic grocery stores or online for around $5), but after trying many different scents, the most popular ones with the kids in my classes are peppermint,  and lemon (these are hands down the favorite two), cinnamon, lavender and orange essential oils.  Place a few drops of your child's favorite (every kid has a different preference, be sure to test it out first) on a cotton ball.  Put the cotton ball in a ziplock bag to have on hand when needed.

Allow your child to have this smell available to help cool down after an aggressive moment and help shift state of mind.  Just a few deep breaths in through the nose can helps shift how your child is feeling!

Don't overdo it.  Essential oils are pretty powerful, and too much of a good thing can be overwhelming to the sensory system.  A few deep breaths is all that is needed to help your child shift mentally.

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Get outside, and keep moving and playing!

Period.  Simple as that.  Movement helps release overwhelming emotion or overstimulation of sensory input.

Naturally, I like to get my kiddos outside for some yoga or a swing in the hammock, but any movement that your child likes to do will help.

Generally, nature is soothing and calming to the nervous system.  Let 'em outside as much as you can, and allow some free play so they can unwind from daily strssors!

For the adult to implement:

I feel determined to add in this section on how to support the adult, because a child's emotions and reactions are so intricately tied into the adult's emotions and vice versa.  I know this one for myself, but also from a decade's worth of families with whom I've worked and helped facilitate change.  We are all so intricately connected, and we can absolutely facilitate positive shifts in others just by positively supporting ourselves.

It's essential you do whatever you need to do to stay (or try to stay) regulated for yourself.  I know, easier said than done, right?  Don't worry, you don't have to be perfect at it.  You just have to try.

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.

You've got this.
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Use a sensory strategy for yourself! Stretch or do 10 little jumps in place, go outside, smell the cotton ball of oil you were saving for your child, or take a sip of cold lemon water.  Decide ahead of time what works for you to keep yourself calm and make a plan to try it out next time.

How it might look in real life:  For me, I find that keeping a pair of noise decreasing earmuffs handy (ear plugs don't quite do the trick) lowers the volume level enough so I can hear myself think and stay sane when my child is being a--well, a child.

Plus, no matter how many times I've used them I always feel ridiculous in them, which also shifts my emotion from feeling too upset.

My kids actually think I look pretty funny in them, too, and sometimes just me putting them on makes them pause a midst the chaos, which is enough to redirect aggression.

Go ahead, giggle at my unconventional angle.  It is pretty funny, honestly.  So funny it keeps me laughing when I might otherwise be throwing my own tantrum.

Like many parents, you may shrug it off and tell me noise doesn't bother you.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Noise doesn't bother me, either.  Unless it's my kiddo's voice in pain, struggle, anger or worse: both of my girls in a tangle with each other.  Then I'm a triggered mama that can't quite think as straight as I'd like.

Hands down, these earmuffs were the best $21 parenthood investment I've ever made.  But don't worry, I don't take the earmuffs out of the house, and I wouldn't expect you to, either.

When I'm out in the community, I tend to do things like chew gum or suck on a mint to help stay calm (chewing and sucking are calming sensory strategies to many people). 

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Find your mantra: Thanks to some really lovely lessons from my yoga teachers, I also keep a mantra going in my head that correlates to my breathing.

When I'm feeling myself fire up, I focus on my exhale. I imagine literally  breathing out any tension or frustration in my body that doesn't serve the situation, and I keep the mantra going in my mind "I choose to let go of what doesn't serve me," which is the long version of my mantra.  In the moment I shorten it to "let it go,"  and then promptly and involuntarily start thinking the lyrics of the Frozen tune of the same title, so that isn't always a perfect outcome, but it does work.  

This breathing mantra helps me remember to take deeper breaths, too, which is every bit as good for calming an edgy nervous system as anything else.  

But that's me.  What words resonate with you to keep you even-keeled?  Determine them and use them.

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Visualize the emotional stability you want for yourself:

My Austin-based colleague who is an incredibly talented parenting specialist, Bethany Prescott, once offered up a wonderful visualization I use quite a bit because I really respond well to imagery.

Bethany offered the suggestion to imagine that my child is out (safely) floating on a raft in the Ocean of BIG Emotion.  She's tethered by rope to me, her anchor on the shore.  It's my job to stay rooted and strong in the earth on the beach.  If I choose to  let myself uproot and get pulled into the water, I will be swept away by currents of emotions, too.  Essentially we will both be carried away by the waves of our feelings if I uproot,  but if I can stay anchored, she can pull herself in to me and find solid ground and even keel.

It's a lovely metaphor for how kids co-regulate off of a parent's emotions (they totally do), and I use imagery like that for myself pretty often.  The more I practice, the better the imagery works.

But you don't have to use that example.  Just think of one thing that represents even keel and consistency to you (the sun always shining, a tree that is rooted deeply into the ground, etc.) and use imagery that supports your own journey.

Imagine you have the ability to have that kind of always sustaining stability until one day you realize you actually do.  

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Practice gratitude for your child's gentle moments:   If we label our kids as aggressive, that can become the expectation and a self-narrative for them, even if that's not our intention.

How we see our kids directly affects  the expectations we place on them and the way we interact with them and thus, how they behave.

If you struggle with a child that demonstrates aggression, begin a daily practice of naming 5 moments that day when your child demonstrated a behavior that was gentle, calm or heartwarming.  Even small things like: "my child smiled kindly at a friend" count toward this practice.

It doesn't have to be some world-saving effort,  it just needs to be an increased awareness of their small, everyday gentle actions.  The more you focus on your child's gentle, regulated  moments, the more you are going to discover his growing abilities to be gentle and self-regulated, and you'll begin to notice strengths you may have overlooked without this practice.


It's amazing the relationship transformation you'll receive from just this practice alone! 

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Mindfully reflect as a collaborative team: After the fact, you can do a few things to reflect on what happened and how you might go about things differently next time.  Make a plan when your child is feeling happy.  Draw out the steps of the plan together.

Don't skip this piece.  It's a crucial one, as it puts you and the child on the same team, and it teaches kids how to build problem solving skills they will need for life.

Be mindful of the kind of aggressive behavior your child is doing because it give you clues as to what movement will calm your child.

For instance, if you child bites others, he or she might be calmed by chewing gum or biting on a chew bracelet or a water bottle spout.  If your child is hitting, she might be calmed by deep pressure into her hands and arms (like pushing against a wall or an adult body).  If your child is kicking, he might be calmed by jumping or stomping hard or pressing his legs firmly into a cushion or pillow.  Use this information to create your awesome plan together.

Big Picture Considerations:

There is always a bigger picture to aggression.  This is by no means an exhaustive list, but some  other things to consider are: Diet and nutrition, sleep, being overscheduled or overstimulated by the environment, toxins or irritants in the environment and not receiving the physical activity and free play the individual needs on a daily basis.  Simple changes to sleep, schedules, environmental factors or diet can really make an enormous difference.

So tell me, friends what are some brain and body strategies that have worked for you?  Lemme know in the comments below!  I read and appreciate every single one!

Friday, July 4, 2014

6 Tips to Having A Sensory Friendly 4th of July 

With parades, BBQs and professional grade firework displays, the 4th of July is, for many of us, an anticipated hot weather holiday.  Though the traditions that surround this day of celebration are generally fun for the whole family, they can be overwhelming and nearly intolerable for children with autism or Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).
If your child has trouble dealing with sensory stimulation, here are some survival tips to help your whole family enjoy the day.

1. Prepare your child for the day

Whatever you’re planning for the day, make sure your child knows what to expect.  Explain that there will be a lot of people and noise, but there will also be plenty of fun activities.  If your child responds to visual cues, you can try showing him a video of fireworks (with the volume turned down at first) or a parade.  Gradually increase the volume and take note of his reaction.  Though it’s important that he knows what to expect, try not to go overboard.  Sometimes too much anticipation can be just as overwhelming.

2. Bring favorite and familiar items

Familiar toys, games and snacks can provide comfort and distraction from over-stimulating sights, sounds and smells. These favorites can also come in handy if he gets antsy while waiting for an activity, like a parade or firework show, to start.

3. Establish a safe place

Whether it’s bringing along a small tent or a blanket to hide underneath or finding a spot that allows relief from noise and people, make sure to establish a “safe place” for him when he feels like he needs a break. If it’s easier to retreat to a location, agree upon a “safe word” or visual cue that he can use to let you know that he’s feeling overwhelmed.

4. Engage in heavy work activities

Heavy work is characterized by activities that involve the whole body or parts of the body to increase attention and calm the senses.  Actions like pushing, pulling, lifting, chewing and squeezing are all meant to engage the body and, in a sense, organize the nervous system.
Have your child help you prepare for the day by packing a picnic basket or loading the car with lawn chairs.  Have fidget toys and oral motor stimulators (like straws, teethers or licorice) available during the day so he can keep his hands and mouth busy and focus his attention.

5. Bring along sunglasses and noise blocking headphones

If watching a firework show or just hanging out in a neighborhood where residents will be setting off fireworks, noise blocking headphones may be helpful to quiet any loud or unwanted sound.  Bright lights from fireworks also have the potential to stir up sensory discomfort, so having sunglasses on hand or a hat can help to ease visual overstimulation.

6. Stay mindful of the situation

Most importantly, keep an eye on how your child is handling the day.  Even if you have prepared yourself and him for every possible scenario, he may still have a difficult time engaging in activities.  Pay attention to his cues and if it’s too much for him, it may be best to remove him from the situation and go home.
Whether your child is able to engage in a full day of activities, or just visit a BBQ and spend a quiet evening at home playing board games, the 4th of July is a great day of celebration with family and friends.  The most important thing is to find a holiday tradition that allows your family to enjoy the day together.
Sources:
“Tips for an Autism-Friendly Fourth of July.” Autism Speaks: It’s Time to Listen. Autism Speaks, Inc., 2 July 2013. Web. 20 June 2014. http://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/2013/07/02/tips-autism-friendly-fourth-july.
“Sensory-Friendly July 4th.” Dandelion. Family Publishing, Inc., 28 June 2012. Web. 20 June 2014. http://www.godandelion.com/blog/item/92-fourthofjuly


Taken from:  http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2014/07/02/6-tips-to-having-a-sensory-friendly-4th-of-july/?utm_source=Friendship+Circle+Blog&utm_campaign=2fed9a82e6-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_3ec270b4ae-2fed9a82e6-199195685

Friday, June 20, 2014

 
PictureKids blowing up a "Bubble Mountain" from ASensoryLife.com
Last fall, a concerned mother brought her 7-year-old son to my aerial yoga & mindfulness classes in hopes he could "learn to be calmer" because he was getting into loads of trouble in school  and  at home.  The mother was distraught and the boy was losing faith in his own ability to control himself and his intense feelings and movement needs.  It was heartbreaking to see him so uncomfortable in his own skin because I knew about him what I know about all kids:  they always do their very best  given their resources, environment and abilities.  No exceptions.   When he first came to yoga class, I noticed he couldn't sing "Om" for more than a few seconds before needing to take another breath, and any time he got excited, frustrated, worried—you name the emotion, his breathing pattern was erratic and his breaths...

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quickened and shortened, like tiny sips of air which were never completely released.  When this happened,  his muscles tightened and his decision making abilities narrowed.  Then his behavioral disruptions and discomfort in his own skin ensued.

That boy’s breathing pattern is much like the majority of kids in modern day society, and if you have a child of your own, it’s likely she or he does the same when stressed, if not regularly.

Last school semester, I taught 35 amazing kids ages 3-10 aerial yoga and mindfulness once a week for 6-12 weeks.  Out of 35 kids, 32 of them had to be taught to do slow, deep  belly breathing that allowed good movement of the diaphragm!  That’s 91% of my students that were regularly breathing in a constricted way without much knowledge around how to change it, and ALL of those kids came from supportive, middle class-upper class families that teach healthy habits.  At the class start, only two of the 35 were able to identify deep breathing as a coping technique for big feelings or as a strategy for increasing focus, and both of those kids only knew that because they are mine and were well coached.  I understand my sample size is small, but the significance is not.

Due to increased stressors and toxins in the environment, increased time spent in slouched, hunched posture as well as decreased societal allowance for movement and physical activities,  overstimulation abounds and breathing patterns have become shallower and quicker in today’s kids.  Even well intending teachers in schools unknowingly further poor breathing patterns by asking kids to "hold a bubble of air in their mouths" or close their mouths and blow up their cheeks in effort to lower chatter and noise volume (which, by the way, completely disrupts that natural rhythm of breath and can actually increase anxiety and disruptive behavior in kids).

Kids in modern society don’t intuitively know that deep and mindful breathing can help them have healthier, calmer, happier lives. They must learn it.   They  sip on small pockets of breath, hold their breath often (especially when trying to concentrate on academics) and posture in positions that constrict the movement of the diaphragm, which all turns on the body's stress response.  What concerns me most is that  modern society's fast-pace, technology-thick, movement-depleted lifestyle is increasing their need for deep breathing without also offering them the opportunity to learn it.  Today's kids need to know how to breathe even more than any generation before!

For optimal brain and body health and development, deep, slow, relaxation-type breathing must be taught to and practiced by kids, and it’s up to you, me and the rest of the proverbial village to be aware of the power of the breath and the inborn ability to breathe deeply for better health and happiness so you can teach them, too.  Let's do this, my friend!

We arrive already knowing how to breathe: Babies come into the world knowing how to breathe.  Can't you remember watching a sleeping babe's sweet belly inflating up on the inhale and floating back down with every exhale?  Now, right now--without moving an inch--notice your own breath.  What body part is it that inflates and releases?  It’s usually not just your belly like those sleeping babies breathing so intuitively. It's your rib cage that expands on the inhale and for some, the shoulders rise up, too.  More likely than not, your belly is pretty still or moves only slightly. That’s a shallower, thoracic breathing pattern that increases neck and shoulder tension and directly affects your blood pressure, psychological well-being and even gene expression.

The shallow, ribcage/shoulder elevation movement is the same type of movement that would happen if you were being chased by a hungry lion or if you were having a panic attack (to a lesser extent, but still the same mechanics).   Imagine what adopting a regular breathing pattern much like that which happens in fight or flight does to your nervous system over time.   For starters, it can make you more susceptible to  low back pain, create a negative domino effect on your immune system and stimulate  a chronic state of low-grade anxiety.  As they say here in Texas, that's no bueno.

How the modern day lifestyle inhibits our kids' natural relaxation response:  Modern day positioning such as hunching over at our computers, driving,  and craning our necks down to our phone screens has collapsed our posture, compressed our diaphragms and retrained our breathing patterns to be a shorter, shallower breath than that deep, easy belly breathing we once knew when we came into the world.  

The same poor posturing pattern is happening at a much earlier age to our kiddos as they, too, spend increasing periods of time hunched over their desks in rote academic work with less time for recess and movement.  Recent data suggests kiddos today experience as many as 7 hours per day watching media and 5-6 hours per day doing academic work at their desks.  That’s about 13 hours a day their necks and spines are most likely slumped downward toward media or school work and their little diaphragms are folded and pressed taut, restricting their breath and thus hobbling their health and well being!  

In addition, today's kiddos are spending less and less time outdoors doing full body movement and free play that naturally gets the diaphragm moving, stimulates deep breathing and gets kids in different positions: upside down, hanging,  and involved in aerobic activities.  That big body movement naturally frees up the muscular restrictions of the diaphragm and encourages deeper breathing that heals and promotes health and mood regulation.

Our kids need hours and hours of movement and play every day.  A 20 minute recess and an hour of soccer practice per day will not do it.  I know we do our best as parents and educators in this over scheduled world-I have many challenges around that myself-but we need to be mindful of the hours of sitting, car commuting, media watching and academic periods that require static activity and foster shallow breathing patterns.  Such sedentary routine has a snowball effect on development and actually decreases decision making and mood stability.  If your life is not conducive to offering your kids lots of movement, don't give up, my friend.  I've got your back on this with tips to come!   Just get your child moving as much as you can, and beyond that, teach deep breathing and know they will be well supported that way!

Deep breathing is a scientifically proven salve for health, happiness and focus!  I know, I know,  you've heard the recommendation to breathe before.  "Just breathe" seems to be the cliche of modern times, but I'm going to tell you again: deep breathing is essential, absolutely essential for today's kids.  Both old and new science will back me up on that as it has been proven to affect asthma, the immune system, executive functioning (decision  making and problem solving) of the brain, blood pressure, gastrointestinal functioning and new research even suggests it may actually affect gene expression!   Best of all?  No side effects!

 Many kids, both those that are considered to be typically developing as well as kids with diagnoses such as Autism, Asperger’s, ADHD, anxiety disorders or sensory processing challenges actually have more rapid, shallow, natural breathing patterns that generally move just the rib cage and not the belly.   Short, shallow breath patterns or holding the breath can increase or maintain poor attention or disruptive behavior while deep breathing can actually do the opposite for their symptoms.

It's accessible to anyone, easy, can be done anywhere and it's right under your nose!   As a mama in today's world, I seek practical, budget friendly, easy tools that my kids won't grow out of tomorrow, and I know you need the same.  Deep breathing is just that!  Deep, slow breathing that inflates the abdomen on the inhale and allows the belly to fall back toward the spine on a slow, long exhale can be both a preventative measure and a calming tool for a moment of struggle or inability to focus.   And for the practical parents out there like me, it’s free, has lifelong application and is completely accessible anytime, anywhere.

It's taught in both Easter and Western practices:   Deep breathing and it's benefits are not some new fad.  It's been practiced for thousands of years, but we are just now seeing some of the most incredible scientific evidence around it. In yoga, we call this practice of deep, intentional breathing Pranayama, which means the exercise or control of the life force.  In occupational therapy we call this practice “deep breathing techniques” or “diaphragmatic breathing.”  It's all the same stuff with similar benefits if practiced with an intention toward health and stress-management.   When I see a technique that's both been used by ancient practitioners of wisdom and is backed up by science, I wake up and smell that coffee, because that's the ticket.

Outcome in my classes: Remember that little 7 year old boy in my classes that had a short, shallow breath practically all the time?  Once he learned how to use his breath, it became his go-to for test anxiety, frustration and the like.  With a combination of breathing, mindfulness and more movement, his home and school life became successful and calmer. 

As far as the update goes on the kiddos in my class last semester, all of them practiced deep breathing at every class meeting in a fun way, and by the end of our sessions, all 35 of them knew how powerful their breath could be, both figuratively and literally.  We moved ping-pong balls, built bubble mountains, played breath volleyball, and lengthened the sound of our "Om" all with the breath.

Some of them told me with empowered wisdom how they took 5 deep breaths at school before a test or just before a piano performance.  They relayed their stories of insight and success with shifted perspective of how to float through whatever life entails by sailing upon the waves of their breath.  Others may not have reported to me that they used it outside of my yoga studio over the course of my classes, but they acknowledged the tool was there for them whenever they needed it and they understood how to use their breath and change it to change the way they feel and function.  

Deep breathing offers a valuable life lesson and empowering message to our kids:   Best of all,  and even more powerful than the physiological benefits is the belief and trust in the self and the empowering message deep breathing instills in kids.  The message offered by deep breathing taught as a stress-management or health tool is this: that kids have the power within them to rise up to their own best potential, to choose to change how they feel in an instant, to cultivate health from within instead of relying on someone else to do it for them.  The breath embodies the lesson that each child is capable to expand and grow in life.     Literally, with each breath in, our bodies expand and are nourished, thus we are reminded of how we intuitively know how to take in what we need for growth and progress.   Furthermore, the proof that each child has the ability to let go of what she no longer needs to hold is in the exhale, as the breath out literally releases what served them before, but does no longer.

The power is within.  It's inside each and every child.  It's in the ebb and flow of something they do about 18 times per minute day in and day out from the moment they arrive to the time they depart.  The secret to optimal brain and body health for kids is in the breath.  

All they need to do is breathe.   And you can show them how.

Monday, June 9, 2014

 
PicturePhoto credit: PinlkeToes
There is recent neuroscience which demonstrates that having a gratitude practice can offer up amazing mental and physical health benefits such as stronger immune systems and lower blood pressure, feeling more connected to others, and an increased perception of  joy, optimism and happiness.

It’s important to emphasize that a gratitude practice positively affects any brain at any age, and a happy brain lends to an individual that learns more, makes neural connections faster, has positive relationships through life and fights off illnesses better.  For a child that struggles with anxiety, attention or any sensory processing preferences,

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a gratitude practice can be incredibly helpful to shift the feeling of being uncomfortable in his own skin.

The best part about gratitude is that it's easy to practice, low cost to implement and helps both the giver and the receiver of gratitude, especially if it connects family members or the community of a classroom.

Kids are usually delighted to practice gratitude, but it doesn't always come intuitively.  A natural default and protective response is to focus on what’s not working or to highlight the negative.  Kids must learn how to find gratitude by practicing it regularly and by seeing the adults in their lives model it for them. 

This may seem like common knowledge, but what's common knowledge isn't always put into common practice.  We may know something but we don't practice it regularly, which doesn't get us beyond the benefits of knowing.  And that's why I want to emphasize the need for practice here.  As stated, gratitude is a practice, a simple one, but a practice all the same, and we need to help our kids regularly implement it by taking the responsibility to regularly model it and guiding them to start a routine in their own lives.

Now, I know you are busy.  That's likely an understatement.  You probably have too many balls up in the air already.  You feel like adding one more thing to your tray will be your tipping point.  Keep your head up, my friend.  I feel you.  My mantra is "don't' add to the plate, just integrate!"  You can do this without adding anything but more happiness to your plate.  I promise. 

If you are here reading this, you feel pulled to better your life or the lives of the children at your feet, and I am here to encourage that call.  Here, I will offer suggestions of how to use gratitude in daily activities you already do.  Reasearch shows inserting a new practice into an old one is the best way to create change, anyhow. 

You can do this, my friend--not only for your child, but for yourself.

Pictureiphone app "Gratitude 365"
Ideas for a family or classroom gratitude practice:

1. Gratitude Routine: Cultivate a simple, daily practice that is inserted into something you already do together every day at least 5 days a week. 

For families:  when family members are gathered for meals, go around the table to express 3 good things about the day.   Or, when you are walking to school/bus stop or on the car on the way to school or during the bedtime routine, take turns and express 3 things for which you have gratitude.    Try to come up with something different each time and encourage kids to express gratitude beyond a material item Example:  Your daughter says,"I'm really grateful for my bike," and you can encourage her to also find gratitude for her strong body that allows her to ride the bike, the engineer that designed it, the workers that put it together and his grandparents that gifted it to her.

In a classroom: add a gratitude practice into something you do every day such as circle time.  Each child can say 1 good thing about the day then pass the turn to the next child by blowing a feather to their neighbor or passing a ball. 

2. Make a gratitude Jar.  This can be any container, really, be it a  jar, vase or basket placed somewhere in your home or classroom.  It should have a pen and slips of paper attached.  Family members or class participants can come to it whenever they'd like to write  (or draw) one good thing in their lives on the paper and put it in the jar.  Once a week/month/year the family or classroom can come together and empty it out to remember their gratitude for that time period.

3.  Model gratitude through your words and actions.  Tell your kids about the gratitude you have for their actions: "I really appreciate all of your help and cooperation when I was in a hurry to get through the grocery store.  That really helped me get home in time to make dinner! Thank you!"  Write a surprise gratitude message on your child's bathroom mirror or in their room or lunch box so they will feel your sense of gratitude even when you are not around.

3.  Write a gratitude letter to someone with your child or integrate this into the class curriculum for handwriting or language development.  In the letter, have the child describe all specific characteristics and actions that inspire his or her gratitude.  Then have the child read it to that person in real life or over video conferencing.  This is one of the greatest gifts you can offer another person:  the gift of your happiness for their presence in your life.

4. Create a gratitude picture journal.  Use your phone or camera and take one picture per day of something for which you are grateful.  Do something amazing with all those pictures you have on your phone!  At the  weeks/month's/year's end, you can review your entire, grateful trip around the sun! Pictures can be uploaded on a social media site or a photo site.  Another option is to use a gratitude photo app, which uploads pictures and allows you to type in a list of gratitudes.  Kids love to take pictures themselves.  If it works for your family, let them take their own pictures, too!

5. Generate an attitude of gratitude in your life perspective.  Gratitude doesn't have to just be about looking at the world through rose colored glasses.  Sometimes life is rough, and that's ok, too.  We can notice the struggle.  We can acknowledge it.    Gratitude can also just be the acknowledgment of what is difficult or scary and then finding something that is working for you within the challenge.  This effort is truly the work of life, isn't it?

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6.  Yoga.  Naturally.  Yoga is a wonderful way to practice gratitude as it connects us to what serves us both within and without.  In yoga, we honor ourselves and others.  We find gratitude for simple things such as our legs for carrying us through poses and our lungs for expanding with each breath then releasing what we no longer need to hold on each exhale.  In my classes, we always, always pause to offer ourselves gratitude for our practice and for our commitment to nurture and strengthen within and without.

When I first began a solid gratitude practice, I had known about the positive benefits of gratitude for years, I just hadn't regularly practiced it.  Even so, I had no idea how it would radically change my unchanged life in the way it did.   I was astounded at how many things I began noticing that were really serving me and working for me in my life.  These were things I hadn't really viewed as being precious before.  My relationships improved.  My back pain lessened (seriously, folks).  Even something I would have never guessed, like a sick day with my kid, became part of my gratitude log, and I'm being totally sincere.  Quickly, I began feeling as if my life was richer and really abundant.  Some kind woman paid for my entire order in the drive thru line ahead of me, I began receiving gifts of help, kind words and friendship that I didn't solicit.  The more I focused on gratitude, the more I discovered how much I had. 

And so it will be for you and the children in your life.  Don't take my word for it, though.  PRACTICE it for yourself! 

If you know someone who might benefit from this information, please feel free to send it along. I will be grateful, and so will they!  Gratitude begets gratitude, my friend.  Thank you, Thank you!