Monday, June 9, 2014

 
PicturePhoto credit: PinlkeToes
There is recent neuroscience which demonstrates that having a gratitude practice can offer up amazing mental and physical health benefits such as stronger immune systems and lower blood pressure, feeling more connected to others, and an increased perception of  joy, optimism and happiness.

It’s important to emphasize that a gratitude practice positively affects any brain at any age, and a happy brain lends to an individual that learns more, makes neural connections faster, has positive relationships through life and fights off illnesses better.  For a child that struggles with anxiety, attention or any sensory processing preferences,

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a gratitude practice can be incredibly helpful to shift the feeling of being uncomfortable in his own skin.

The best part about gratitude is that it's easy to practice, low cost to implement and helps both the giver and the receiver of gratitude, especially if it connects family members or the community of a classroom.

Kids are usually delighted to practice gratitude, but it doesn't always come intuitively.  A natural default and protective response is to focus on what’s not working or to highlight the negative.  Kids must learn how to find gratitude by practicing it regularly and by seeing the adults in their lives model it for them. 

This may seem like common knowledge, but what's common knowledge isn't always put into common practice.  We may know something but we don't practice it regularly, which doesn't get us beyond the benefits of knowing.  And that's why I want to emphasize the need for practice here.  As stated, gratitude is a practice, a simple one, but a practice all the same, and we need to help our kids regularly implement it by taking the responsibility to regularly model it and guiding them to start a routine in their own lives.

Now, I know you are busy.  That's likely an understatement.  You probably have too many balls up in the air already.  You feel like adding one more thing to your tray will be your tipping point.  Keep your head up, my friend.  I feel you.  My mantra is "don't' add to the plate, just integrate!"  You can do this without adding anything but more happiness to your plate.  I promise. 

If you are here reading this, you feel pulled to better your life or the lives of the children at your feet, and I am here to encourage that call.  Here, I will offer suggestions of how to use gratitude in daily activities you already do.  Reasearch shows inserting a new practice into an old one is the best way to create change, anyhow. 

You can do this, my friend--not only for your child, but for yourself.

Pictureiphone app "Gratitude 365"
Ideas for a family or classroom gratitude practice:

1. Gratitude Routine: Cultivate a simple, daily practice that is inserted into something you already do together every day at least 5 days a week. 

For families:  when family members are gathered for meals, go around the table to express 3 good things about the day.   Or, when you are walking to school/bus stop or on the car on the way to school or during the bedtime routine, take turns and express 3 things for which you have gratitude.    Try to come up with something different each time and encourage kids to express gratitude beyond a material item Example:  Your daughter says,"I'm really grateful for my bike," and you can encourage her to also find gratitude for her strong body that allows her to ride the bike, the engineer that designed it, the workers that put it together and his grandparents that gifted it to her.

In a classroom: add a gratitude practice into something you do every day such as circle time.  Each child can say 1 good thing about the day then pass the turn to the next child by blowing a feather to their neighbor or passing a ball. 

2. Make a gratitude Jar.  This can be any container, really, be it a  jar, vase or basket placed somewhere in your home or classroom.  It should have a pen and slips of paper attached.  Family members or class participants can come to it whenever they'd like to write  (or draw) one good thing in their lives on the paper and put it in the jar.  Once a week/month/year the family or classroom can come together and empty it out to remember their gratitude for that time period.

3.  Model gratitude through your words and actions.  Tell your kids about the gratitude you have for their actions: "I really appreciate all of your help and cooperation when I was in a hurry to get through the grocery store.  That really helped me get home in time to make dinner! Thank you!"  Write a surprise gratitude message on your child's bathroom mirror or in their room or lunch box so they will feel your sense of gratitude even when you are not around.

3.  Write a gratitude letter to someone with your child or integrate this into the class curriculum for handwriting or language development.  In the letter, have the child describe all specific characteristics and actions that inspire his or her gratitude.  Then have the child read it to that person in real life or over video conferencing.  This is one of the greatest gifts you can offer another person:  the gift of your happiness for their presence in your life.

4. Create a gratitude picture journal.  Use your phone or camera and take one picture per day of something for which you are grateful.  Do something amazing with all those pictures you have on your phone!  At the  weeks/month's/year's end, you can review your entire, grateful trip around the sun! Pictures can be uploaded on a social media site or a photo site.  Another option is to use a gratitude photo app, which uploads pictures and allows you to type in a list of gratitudes.  Kids love to take pictures themselves.  If it works for your family, let them take their own pictures, too!

5. Generate an attitude of gratitude in your life perspective.  Gratitude doesn't have to just be about looking at the world through rose colored glasses.  Sometimes life is rough, and that's ok, too.  We can notice the struggle.  We can acknowledge it.    Gratitude can also just be the acknowledgment of what is difficult or scary and then finding something that is working for you within the challenge.  This effort is truly the work of life, isn't it?

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6.  Yoga.  Naturally.  Yoga is a wonderful way to practice gratitude as it connects us to what serves us both within and without.  In yoga, we honor ourselves and others.  We find gratitude for simple things such as our legs for carrying us through poses and our lungs for expanding with each breath then releasing what we no longer need to hold on each exhale.  In my classes, we always, always pause to offer ourselves gratitude for our practice and for our commitment to nurture and strengthen within and without.

When I first began a solid gratitude practice, I had known about the positive benefits of gratitude for years, I just hadn't regularly practiced it.  Even so, I had no idea how it would radically change my unchanged life in the way it did.   I was astounded at how many things I began noticing that were really serving me and working for me in my life.  These were things I hadn't really viewed as being precious before.  My relationships improved.  My back pain lessened (seriously, folks).  Even something I would have never guessed, like a sick day with my kid, became part of my gratitude log, and I'm being totally sincere.  Quickly, I began feeling as if my life was richer and really abundant.  Some kind woman paid for my entire order in the drive thru line ahead of me, I began receiving gifts of help, kind words and friendship that I didn't solicit.  The more I focused on gratitude, the more I discovered how much I had. 

And so it will be for you and the children in your life.  Don't take my word for it, though.  PRACTICE it for yourself! 

If you know someone who might benefit from this information, please feel free to send it along. I will be grateful, and so will they!  Gratitude begets gratitude, my friend.  Thank you, Thank you!

Friday, June 6, 2014

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 As a parent of two kiddos with 10 years of experience working as an Occupational Therapist, I know how hectic life can be for modern day families with ALL types of kids.  I know how pulled we can all feel, how overstimulated life can be, and how at times, we can all feel like we have way too much technology and real life to process. This feeling affects parents and kids alike, and if left untended, can lead to high stress levels within the family, and difficulty with everyday tasks.

It's my yoga & mindfulness training that grounds me and reminds me of the importance of one simple, easy to implement concept--a peaceful space.   I believe every child deserves a designated space in their home environment to use as a retreat from the world or a time-in.  When we offer a child this opportunity, we both model and teach the importance of respecting the brain's and body's need for downtime, which translates to a happier kid and eventually, a healthier adult across all spectrums.

Through my life's work, I have found that creating a peaceful space in your home or classroom can be one of the most beneficial, low-budget, practical and easy strategies.  It's fast and easy, and it supports a developing nervous system and soothes difficulty with sensory processing!  A peaceful space can also prevent meltdowns by nipping overwhelm in the bud.  It empowers a child to feel a sense of control over his or her own environment.  These spaces encourage the use of self-regulation and calming techniques that can generalize into a healthy, calmer adolescence and adulthood. 

The best part about these spaces is that they are

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easy to create, and they apply to adults, too! 

Parents, make sure to find a peaceful space of your own in your home and model going to that place when you need a quiet moment.  Talk to your kids about how everyone needs a recharge and some calm space every now and then; it's just part of being human in modern times.  As you do this for yourself, your children will begin to mirror your actions and become more self aware of when they need to retreat.  Don't be surprised when they start going to their space when they need it, and suggesting others might need to go to their retreat as well.  Also, expect that you will begin to feel more self-regulated through this practice, too! 

For Parents and Adults: It's okay if your peaceful space is in the corner of your closet amidst shoes and tank tops (ahem, despite the fact I have an aerial yoga studio in my house, the closet is the only surefire spot where I can always get quiet and alone when I need it).  Your peaceful space could be on the back porch, in your favorite comfy chair, in the parked car with the music on, a workshop bench in the garage or it could be sitting at a window that draws good light.  For adults, it could be anywhere in your home, just designate a place that has calming and comforting elements to you (if you don't have one, make one), and go to it for solace, even if it only means just standing there long enough to take 5 breaths when you are at your wits end and trying your best not to lose your parenting cool. 5 breaths, just FIVE breaths, can make a difference between yelling and modeling healthy self-regulation. When you pass by this spot as you go through the day, just take a mindful breath, allow there to be a sense of recharge in the inhale and a sense of letting go of what you no longer need to hold in the exhale.   Notice the empowerment of a space that is YOURS, and feels calming to you (even if only for a few seconds), and step mindfully back into the hustle with a tad more fuel for your tank and a healthier neurochemical response in your brain, whether you are aware of it or not.

For Kids:*   When creating these spaces for your kids, please allow the child to participate in the creation and selection of items as much as possible.  Research shows child-led activities for creation lead to increased child participation. Create your own rules and parameters for the peaceful space that work for your individual family and child, but generally it is a place for solace and recharge, not a place for punishment or time-out.  It can be utilized positively as an option for a child that is melting down, but often, many kids will go to these spaces on their own as long as there is an element of fun and comfort to the space and as long as the child has practiced going to this space regularly when they are already in a feel-good state.  


This space is a place for finding a calmer perspective so we can access better problem solving.  It's also a space to just feel how we feel safely (without hurting or negatively affecting others) and learn to feel comfortable in our own skin even when emotions are big or overwhelming.  I encourage any peaceful space to be technology screen free as much as possible because screens require significant sensory processing, which works against the effort of a peaceful space.  However, using a screen device to play peaceful music or a meditation might be an acceptable option for you and your family. 

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Peace Place: This space needs to have 2-3 walls/sides.  It needs to offer comfort and be a smaller space with defined boundaries.  It can be a tent indoors, a huge cardboard box, a blanket thrown over a table, the underside of a loft bed, a nook under the stairs or anything that works for your child in their environment.  Incorporate soft surfaces inside the peace place.  This is a sensory retreat to prevent or come down from fight or flight/stress response.  It should offer solace from visual distraction, auditory/noise level (use noise canceling headphones if needed or white noise machine).  When the child is in this space, she should receive a respite from everyday demands and sensory overwhelm (retreat from noise, visual distraction, siblings, etc).  Brainstorm with your child about what to put in the peaceful space.  Maybe there's only a pillow and blanket in the space.  You could also provide calming toys such as fidget toys for the hands, a white noise machine, books, music or meditations, chewy toys or any object that is of comfort to the child.  Often, I find younger kids will take quiet toys into this space (cars, baby dolls, tea sets, stuffed animals).  Older kids might take a book or listen to music on headphones.  Educate others in the family about the peace place, why the child needs it/deserves this space, and how its use needs to be respected.   An Aerial yoga hammock or an indoor hanging chair offers a calming movement component to the peace place and can be utilized as such. 

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Soft Spot : A "Soft Spot" is a very confined space for receiving calming deep pressure to the body that is regulating to the nervous system.  Research demonstrates that  an even deep pressure applied across the body is one way to trigger the relaxation response of the nervous system!  This is one reason why swaddling babies works so well!  Deep pressure is soothing to the nervous system and this technique works across the lifespan.  You can teach your child how to find and create comfortable spaces that provide compression to the body in a comfortable way.  Often, you will see smaller kids climbing into laundry baskets, cabinets, cardboard boxes or shelves as they seek out this kind of space naturally.  However, older kids benefit from this kind of space, too!  Older kids might like an oversized bean bag chair, a hammock, or even something as simple as a corner in a couch.  Other ideas include: a laundry basket/oversized Tupperware bin with blankets inside or a pile of 5-7 pillows in between a small space such as between the furniture and the wall.  It can also be a huge bean bag, a padded space under a loft bed or a mummy style sleeping bag for older kids.  The child goes to this space as another option for calming down or for self-regulation. 

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Calm Zone: This is a section of the classroom or home that has different calming activities. It's basically a peace place with bonus activities.  This works really well for homeschoolers, preschoolers or younger elementary ages in a classroom.  I also encourage this kind of to-do space for kids who have a hard time being still and quiet in a typical peace place, but still benefit from the calming elements of this space.  It also works really well as a time-in space-not as punishment for unwanted behavior, but as support for behavior that doesn't serve the child and/or others. Get creative and have fun in the calm zone, but it is typically a space designated for allowing retreat from the hustle.  It could have breathing activities, yoga pose cards, fidget toys, a place to lean back/forward (rocking chair)  or a chair for the child to use for turning upside down to invert the head (inverting the head helps tremendously with self-regulation) reading, drawing, calming music or meditation and calm activities to allow your child a place to retreat.  You can integrate soft spots into the calm zone as well! You can also set up a timer and offer a child 15 minutes of retreat in this zone before and/or after doing homework, chores or anything that is the child may find difficult or may need encouragement to complete.

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For creative and easy peaceful space ideas, please see this awesome Pinterest board by A Sensory Life!

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Kids love to use the aerial yoga hammock as a peaceful space!

It also doubles as a soft spot because the fabric is so smooth and the compression is calming.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

5 Anger Management Methods For Individuals With Special Needs

Everyone experiences anger sometimes.  But for some people, anger is a force that damages relationships, limits community involvement and creates unsafe situations.  Most specialists in anger management encourage people to verbalize their emotions and seek positive outlets for negative feelings.  But what if a person can’t verbalize emotions?  What if mood shifts happen so quickly that there’s no time to seek a positive outlet?
These are the people who need the most help with anger management: those with traumatic brain injury, autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorder and other neurological conditions.  The strategies recommended by professionals may not work in these cases.
As my son gets older, his outbursts have thankfully diminished in frequency and intensity.  But they still occur.  Soon he’ll be bigger than I am, and since I’m over 6 feet tall, he’ll also be bigger than most first responders.  Thus my interest in anger management and crisis prevention.
Prevention of anger-driven episodes is easier than active intervention.  Although there is little research available on anger management for individuals with special needs, I found several applicable methods for both prevention and active anger management.

Prevention

1. Attachment

AskDrSears.com recommends strengthening a positive emotional connection with a person as a way of mitigating anger. Dr. Sears writes, “The unconnected child operates from inner turmoil. Down deep this child feels something important is missing in his self and he is angry about it. (This feeling may continue into adulthood.) This void is likely to reveal itself as anger toward himself and parents, placing everyone at risk for becoming an angry family.”
Parents and caregivers can model peaceful resolutions to everyday problems.  When anger does come to the forefront, parents can explain how they are working through it – sometimes the explanation is enough of a distraction to take the edge off.  Seeing a caregiver become angry can be very confusing for a person with special needs, and he or she often needs some type of confirmation that the emotional connection is still there, unconditionally.  Try to find an activity every day that requires eye contact and generates positive emotions.

2. Emotional expression

Verbal expression may not be possible for some people with disabilities, but it’s never too early to teach and model self-advocacy.  If a person can make known his or her likes and dislikes through alternative methods of communication such as PECS or sign language, it is possible to prevent some types of angry situations.
Because play is a natural part of human development, play therapy is a highly effective way to learn emotional expression.  My son and I used Fisher-Price Little People  and Barbies to act out scenarios from his memory – events that made him happy and events that upset him.  Play therapy allowed him to explore his emotions in a safe environment.
Art therapy is increasingly recommended for individuals with traumatic brain injury or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Open-ended self-expression can help build an inner calmness and confidence, without the use of language. Art therapist Cathy Malchiodi explains, “The function of the art therapist is not necessarily to place a psychological interpretation on the child’s work, but rather to provide a supportive environment to express himself and work through his conflicts in a creative way.

3. Exercise

Vigorous exercise is a well-known natural remedy for anger.   Physical activity not only provides a distraction from anger, but it also stimulates the production of hormones associated with positive emotions and uses the energy of anger for something more productive.  For some, a morning exercise routine helps to start the day on the right foot.  Others exercise as soon as they recognize the first warning signs for rage.  In my home, I provide “heavy work,” that is, an activity that requires pushing or pulling, to help regulate emotions: vacuuming the stairs, pushing a wheelbarrow full of mulch around the yard, shoveling snow, and so on.  The advantage of heavy work is the sense of accomplishment afterwards!

Active Anger Management

4. Cognitive behavioral therapy

The method recommended by the American Psychological Association (APA) for the management of anger – and all types of emotions and emotional thought processes – is cognitive behavioral therapy.  Cognitive behavioral therapy addresses the thoughts surrounding emotions and teaches concrete skills to avoid problems related to powerful emotions. Social stories are an excellent way to start the cognitive process of recognizing emotions. Using first-person language, write the story to show step-by-step how to cope with anger.
The APA has a series of workbooks for children about handling emotions, including one for anger: What To Do When Your Temper Flares by Dawn Huebner.  The workbooks are all based on principles of cognitive-behavioral therapy and include activities such as drawing things that make a person angry, breathing slowly to release anger and working out a problem to get what we actually want.

5. Nonviolent crisis intervention training

Most school districts now have a crisis intervention team that has gone through specialized training in de-escalating tense or dangerous situations.  Non-violent crisis intervention teaches that verbal suggestions, physical intervention or restraint can actually be counterproductive and make a situation more dangerous.  Ask which crisis intervention method your school district or social service agency uses, and ask if caregivers may attend training to provide consistency at home.
Keep in mind that every IEP has a legally required, but usually ignored, section for parent training.   You may be able to receive crisis intervention training at no cost to yourself by having it written into the IEP as parent training, or request a copy of a standard crisis intervention textbook, such as Crisis Intervention Strategies by Richard James, for your personal use.
Anger cannot be completely stamped out.  But by managing anger with patience and love, we can strengthen relationships instead of destroying them.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Sensory Anchors by Angie Voss


***Sensory Tip of the Day!***
Who decided that foot tapping is acceptable and "normal"... but hand flapping is not???
Everything I have listed below in categories #1 and #2 are done for the exact same reasons...why has our society chosen to make one category "normal" and acceptable and the other "a maladaptive behavior" or a "stimming" behavior? (Note: I don't like "those" words and you will not s...ee me using them outside of a post like this)
Category #1:
Hand flapping, lining toys up, jumping in place, rubbing hands together briskly, smelling things, watching spinning objects, chewing on sleeves, etc.
Category #2: Nail biting, foot tapping, hair twisting, chewing on a pen top, swaying/rocking back and forth while standing, watching a lava lamp or other water feature and enjoying it, etc

All of the items in categories #1 and #2 are done to help self-regulate, to soothe and comfort the nervous system, to help achieve ready state for learning, attending, and to cope with the environment and setting at any given moment. These are ALL sensory anchors.

The only part that is different is this...category #1 has been deemed unacceptable by our society and category #2 acceptable. The bottom line...it all needs to be acceptable. ~Angie Voss, OTR











Saturday, May 10, 2014

Stop the Summer Slide: 5 Ways to Help your Child Retain Academic Skills Over the Summer

          

Stop the Summer Slide: 5 Ways to help your child retain academic skills over the summer


Many educators return to school in the fall prepared for a new year with fresh ideas and a renewed energy for teaching. However, we always dread those first weeks of data collection where we may see the effects of what is sometimes referred to as the “summer slide.” For some students, particularly those with special needs or learning disabilities, it is imperative that they receive repetitive practice with academic skills in order to retain what was taught. The child has to “use it or lose it.”
Thus, as we quickly approach summer vacation, I would like to offer parents some ways to help their children practice academic skills throughout the summer and keep their young minds in working shape!

Tip #1: Limit Screen Time

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends “Children and teens should engage with entertainment media for no more than one or two hours per day, and that should be high-quality content. It is important for kids to spend time on outdoor play, reading, hobbies, and using their imaginations in free play.”

Tip #2: Play educational games

Here is a list of easily made games your child can play at home that will help them with academic skills. They can easily be adapted to fit your child’s age and ability level.

Throw the Ball at the Letter

Tape letters (or sight words) to a wall and call out a letter for your child to throw the ball at. Your child gets a point for every letter he successfully hits. Bonus: your child will work on their gross motor skills too!

Sight Word Hop Scotch

This can easily be adapted to letters, skip counting, multiplication facts, etc. depending on your child’s level. Draw a basic hop scotch outline and fill it in with words your child has to hope to and call out loud.

Water Balloon Math

Draw math facts on water balloons. When your child solves the problem, they get to throw the water balloon!

Sight Word Dive

Write sight words on dive sticks if your child has access to the pool and can swim and have them dive for a specific word. Or, once they get the dive stick, they have to correctly read the word or throw it back!

Rhyming Bean Bag Toss

Attach three different words, with three different endings, to three different buckets (ex: cat, man, rug). On bean bags, have words with similar endings taped or written on the bean bag. The child has to toss the bean bag in the correct bucket to make rhyming pairs (ex: they would toss the bean bag that says “fat” into the bucket that says “cat”).

ABC Twister

Just like regular twister but instead of putting their arm on “red” they need to put their arm on the letter “b.” (again, adapt to math or sight words. I.e. Put your arm on the math fact that equals 15).

Tip #3: Encourage exploration and adventure

A child exploring their own backyard is a great catalyst for a growing imagination. Remember all the time you spent outdoors as a child before the invention of ipads, smart phones, and 100 tv channels? Create scavenger hunts for your child or let them make those mud pies and dirt cake. Let them enjoy the beauty of the garden (even if it means 1 or 2 flowers get stomped on) or play with those critters

Tip #4: Allow your child to be bored

My friend and previous co-worker who is now raising a toddler believes in the power of allowing your child to be bored. She writes “boredom often sparks the best ideas and adventures through creativity.” Be weary, if your child gets too bored that’s often when behaviors occur.
But – if your child feels like they should be entertained every moment of every day, they will have difficulty at school when they are asked to attend to instruction or independently work. Such strong learning can happen when your child is required to be creative and explore naturally on their own.

Tip #5: Practical application of academic skills

Some practical ways you can put your child’s skills to work.
  • Lemonade sale: Helps your child practice social skills and money management.
  • Baking: Helps your child review baking and hygiene skills.
  • Grocery store/shopping: Helps your child with math, social and life skills.

Tip #5: Travel

Travel with your child this summer! This does NOT mean I’m suggesting you need to take your child on an African Safari or a European tour in order to be prepared for their upcoming school year (although I imagine those trips would be filled with worldly educational experiences – I myself have never been to either Africa or Europe!).
Travel with your child to the local park, library, or museum. Visit Grandma or Grandpa out of town (and on the car ride play the license plate or alphabet game!). As your child is given the opportunity to experience the world around them, they will naturally take in information from environmental stimuli. They will see, discover, and learn things they wouldn’t have had the opportunity to do just sitting at home.
Be present as you travel with your child. It is not enough to take your child to a museum and let them explore while you are on your own phone or ipad. Ask them inquisitive questions about what they see and what they like. Read books together at the library and help your child pick out books that are appropriate and interesting for their independent reading level.


http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2014/05/09/stop-the-summer-slide-how-to-help-your-child-with-special-needs-retain-academic-skills-over-the-summer/?utm_source=Friendship+Circle+Blog&utm_campaign=ad4f7818fc-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_3ec270b4ae-ad4f7818fc-199195685

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Noise Control: 11 Tips for Helping your Child with Autism Deal with Noise

http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2014/05/06/noise-control-11-tips-for-helping-your-child-with-autism-deal-with-noise/?utm_source=Friendship+Circle+Blog&utm_campaign=65876b7c2b-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_3ec270b4ae-65876b7c2b-199195685


One of my son’s most frequent questions is, “What’s that sound, Mommy?”
I often can’t hear what he’s hearing. He can hear the school bus when it’s still half a mile from our house. With all the windows closed inside our home, he can hear the next-door neighbors’ sump pump switch on or their garage door opening. He can hear a whisper in the next room or an air vent in a busy department store or an airplane’s high-pitched engine long before it’s visible in the sky.  At a noisy carnival, he can hear his favorite song playing across the park.
The downside to sound sensitivity is that noise quickly becomes painful and can even trigger a panic attack. When a person can hear everything simultaneously, it becomes almost impossible to pay attention to the task at hand. Separating and prioritizing sounds drains a person’s energy, and the constant assault of noise causes a person’s anxiety level to escalate.
When my son was a toddler, he had a panic attack every time our washing machine clicked loudly to change cycles. He developed a phobia of all types of bells. He covered his ears and cried in crowds. But he became calm, even joyful, every single time we went for a walk in the woods, visited the library or entered any kind of religious environment: his stiff, tight muscles would relax instantly in my arms.

Creating a Plan to Deal With Sounds

All of these observations gave me food for thought as I developed a plan to help him cope with his sensitivity to sound. Over the years his ability to tolerate noise has steadily increased, and barking dogs are his only remaining noise-related phobia.
Here are eleven ways to help a highly sensitive person learn how to cope with and enjoy everyday noisy situations.

1. Know the types of sensitivity

There are several different types of noise sensitivity, and there are different treatments for each type. Consult with an audiologist to pinpoint which type of sensitivity is affecting your quality of life. These are the 5 most common types of sensitivities, but keep in mind that a person may be affected by more than one issue. For example, my son has hyperacusis in addition to phobias of specific sounds.
  • Hyperacusis is an intolerance of everyday environmental sounds and is often associated with tinnitus, a ringing in the ears.
  • Hypersensitive hearing of specific frequencies is often (but not always) associated with autism. A person is able to tolerate most sounds at normal levels, but certain frequencies are intolerable, especially above 70 decibels. For example, a person may have no difficulty being near a noisy dishwasher, but the higher frequency and higher decibel level of the vacuum cleaner will be painful.
  • Recruitment is directly related to sensorineural hearing loss. It is defined as an atypical growth in the perception of loudness. Hair cells in the inner ear typically “translate” sound waves into nerve signals. Damaged or dead hair cells cannot perceive sound, but at a certain decibel level, surrounding healthy hair cells are “recruited” to transmit, and the person experiences a sudden sharp increase in sound perception that can be shocking and painful.
  • Phonophobia (also called ligyrophobia or sonophobia) is a persistent and unusual fear of sound, either a specific sound such as an alarm or general environmental sounds. People with phonophobia fear the possibility of being exposed to sounds, especially loud sounds, in present and future situations, and sometimes become homebound due to this anxiety.
  • Misophonia is an emotional reaction, most often anger or rage, to specific sounds. The trigger is usually a relatively soft sound related to eating or breathing, and may be connected to only one or a few people who are emotionally close to the affected person. For example, my friend Lisa’s son Nate becomes angry and runs out of the dining room because his father makes sounds while chewing food, but Nate does not become angry when his mother and sister make similar sounds.

2. Provide relief

Headphones and earplugs offer instant comfort and relief. Noise-canceling headphones are the most effective, because they replace irritating environmental noise by producing calming white noise. Earplugs are usually made of either foam or wax, and it is worth trying both types to determine which is more comfortable.
However, most audiologists, physicians, therapists and educators recommend against frequent use of headphones and earplugs, because a person can quickly become dependent on them. In the long run, blocking out noise can reduce coping skills and increase social withdrawal.

3. Identify safe environments

One of the first steps that I took for my son was to make a list of his “safe” places and increase his participation there. Depending on an individual’s needs, this could mean:
  • volunteering at the library
  • attending library storytime
  • taking a walk in a nature area every day
  • visiting a park that is near a railroad crossing or helicopter landing pad
  • attending services, prayers or social events at the Shul more often

4. Allow control over some types of noise

At its heart, anxiety is a fear of being unable to control reactions and situations. When my son had a phobia of bells, I gave him several different types of bells to handle and experiment with at home. When we saw bells at customer service desks or in other public places, I allowed him to ring the bell. He gradually became comfortable with the sounds, and he even began identifying speaker systems, alarm systems and other sources of sounds everywhere we went.

5. Allow distractions

When my husband and I took a Lamaze childbirth class many years ago, we learned about the power of distraction in pain management. By giving a person something like an iPad to focus on or an unusual privilege such as bringing along a favorite toy from home, it becomes possible to direct attention away from the offending noise.

6. Gradually increase exposure and proximity

The cure for a fear of snakes does not involve throwing a person into a snake pit. Similarly, relief from noise sensitivity requires a gradual desensitization and not a sudden exposure. Start by observing something from afar and take a step closer with each opportunity.
My son had a problem with sirens, so we started with pictures of fire trucks and emergency vehicles in a book.  I imitated the sound of a siren with my voice.  We read books about firefighters and police officers. My son wore firefighter and police costumes. We watched YouTube videos of fire trucks in action. I arranged for our playgroup to get a tour of the local fire station, and my son sat in the fire truck with a big smile. I pointed out fire trucks and ambulances while driving. Eventually, those emergency vehicles became a part of everyday life and the sirens did not bother him as much.

7. Alternate noisy and quiet

I discovered that my son’s tolerance for noise increased the most when I scheduled frequent quiet breaks. After a morning out doing errands, we enjoyed a quiet lunch at home. After a playgroup with 7 other children, we made time to snuggle on the sofa. When we felt brave enough to visit a large theme park, we booked a hotel inside the park so that we could retreat as often as necessary. We always take a break before the noise upsets him, so that he will want to return for more fun after resting.

8. Hyperacusis Retraining Therapy (Tinnitus Retraining Therapy)

Auditory Integration Therapy (AIT) is sometimes suggested to people with noise sensitivity, but there is very little peer-reviewed research published on the topic of AIT, and the existing research has generally not been favorable.
However, there is plenty of medical research on Tinnitus Retraining Therapy (TRT), which involves listening to broadband pink noise to habituate a person to ringing in the ears. Pink noise contains all audible frequencies, but with more power in the lower frequencies than in the higher frequencies. Most people report that pink noise sounds “flat.” Because of this, it helps to rebuild tolerance to sound.

9. Cognitive-behavioral therapy

Physicians widely recommend cognitive-behavioral therapy for phobias and anxiety because it teaches a person to self-manage emotions and coping skills. The goal of the therapy is to reframe a person’s thought processes about the cause for anxiety in order to increase quality of life.

10.Consider supplements

Many people with tinnitus or hyperacusis are deficient in magnesium or other minerals. Consult with a physician to determine if nutritional supplements may be able to help.

11. Avoid food additives

Certain food additives, especially those in the salicylate family, are associated with noise sensitivity. In fact, medical literature refers to salicylate as a “tinnitus inducer.”  Special diets, such as the Feingold Diet or a diverse whole foods diet, eliminate those additives and may help reduce sensitivity. Consult with a physician or dietician before making any major dietary changes.

Summary

The world is noisy, but a person can easily live a full life without fireworks shows, major league sporting events and rock concerts. When sound sensitivity interferes with everyday activities, then it is time to look more carefully and seek guidance. A systematic approach to sound sensitivity can lead to a greater enjoyment of relationships and increased inclusion in community-based activities. The Hyperacusis Network notes that in the end, “The ocean cannot escape its waves.”